‘General cleaners’. Not the most exciting job advertisement. However, this ad was for cleaning positions within ASIO. That’s right, our domestic spy agency needs new people to do the vacuuming.
At first, my suspicions kicked in. Was this really an advert for cleaners, or some secret subliminal message designed to attract the best intelligence minds?
Why did the job require a current driver’s licence? Was the requirement to have ‘a willingness to learn new tasks’ a hint that the heaviest part of the job wouldn’t be taking the trash out? You know, join ASIO to ‘clean’, like you join the News of The World to ‘research’.
However my suspicions were a little hasty. The advert did after all describe the positions on offer as being for standard business hours. Hardly prime time, one imagines, for gathering intelligence. Some experience in cleaning was necessary. Plus a half-page ad in a metropolitan daily normally isn’t wasted on subtle messages.
I then realised the amazing attribute of this job ad was its explicit content. This was an ad for a public servant cleaning position. Our government departments, courts and prisons may have long ago contracted out their cleaners, but at least our intelligence agency has kept them on the payroll.
And rightly so. There is something reassuring knowing our ASIO cleaners are public servants. When a spook accidentally throws a page in the bin he thought Wikileaks had already revealed, isn’t it good to know that a Commonwealth employee will be the one taking care of it. Public servants are required to act in accordance with public service values, including impartiality. In current circumstances I assume that means passing the document only to an Independent MP.
The public servant roles have a starting wage above $44,000, not groundbreaking but better than the poor private sector equivalents.
But the best part of these advertised jobs? Has to be the supplied uniform. While security guards everywhere now have their company name emblazoned on their shirt badge, ASIO cleaners can look down with pride at the national emblem.
Yep, life as a Commonwealth cleaner must be very nice and civil. Just make sure those vacuums are low energy.
